Pinching Pennies, Indulging in Luxuries
Home made pizza--cheapskate behavior or luxury?
I get the raised eyebrow in reference to my spending habits on a fairly regular basis. From what I gather, they find me a little contradictory. On the one hand, people in my life think I’m depriving myself for being so cheap in some areas, on the other, they are often surprised to learn about some of my more indulgent habits. I can see it bothers them. I tend to take pinching pennies to be a game, a mental exercise, so it doesn’t strike me as strange to refuse to spend where I don’t have to. Still, let’s examine the perceived contradictions.
‘Cheapskate’ ways that shock friends and family:
- Baking Soda and Apple Cider Vinegar instead of shampoo and conditioner
- Experimenting with not heating our apartment this winter.
- Toying with the idea of teaching DH to cut my hair (hey, I exchanged haircuts with room mates in college, why not?)
- Wearing the same outfit more than once. . .in a row.
- No makeup, no cosmetics (unless you consider soap and toothpaste to be cosmetics)
- Making my own bread, pasta, pie crust . . .anything I can make myself really.
Spending people find luxurious:
- frequent wine tasting and consumption (yum!)
- coffee at home and out (I buy the good stuff)
- Travel and stays abroad like the six weeks I spent in Mexico a few years ago.
- Expensive equipment and clothing for sports and fun activities.
- Spending on classes, workshops and continuing education.
- The occasional purchase of an antique. (I’m currently thinking of buying an antique grain mill . . .)
Are frugal spending habits incompatible with luxuries?
Antique school desk with chair.
People (myself included!) love to point out hypocrisy and contradiction–and rightly so. If you strive to live by certain values and you find yourself somehow not living up to your own standards, then you have something important to consider, right?
My spending is a reflection of my priorities, how about you?
People correctly point out to me that I could make other choices, trading frugal habits for a luxury I indulge in. For example, I can afford to buy shampoo or store bought bread. I could also do both of those things, plus save time and money if I struck out wine from our budget. All of us could make different choices–mine are based on what I value most. I don’t value shampoo over baking soda, so spending even a small amount of money to acquire it seems meaningless to me.
People also correctly point out that if you believe spending money is evil or that all consumption is wrong, then even a few small luxuries are wrong too. I can’t argue with that. If you feel that way, it’s your moral duty to keep working on fine-tuning your habits. But I have no problem spending consciously on items I value. Society in recent decades, has begun to spend by default with a ‘more is better’ mentality–a moment of consideration before a purchase can’t hurt, in my humble opinion.
Sometimes frugal is not my purpose:
A final note I’d like to add is that I partake in many of my frugal habits because I enjoy them. I’m curious. Can I make my own bread? Will it be just as tasty as store bought bread? Will it cost more or less? How cold will my apartment be if I don’t turn on the heat? Will I adapt, will I get sick more? These are questions I’m slowly answering as I try out new and frugal ways. Through trial and error, I may decide that some activities that happen to save money and energy are enjoyable and efficient enough to continue . . .and that others are impractical. To me, the pleasure is in the search.
Your own frugal contradictions:
Do you have any ‘luxurious’ or extremely frugal spending habits that seem contradictory to others? When you decide to spend less or more, what motivates you? Do you think being frugal is an end in itself or you do see saving money as part of a greater plan?
[...] If you strive to live a frugal or simple life, you probably already know that you don’t do it for the experience of ‘giving something up.’ You do it for what you stand to gain! The way I see it, I’m trading something I don’t really want for something I do. [...]
Tree–as always, thanks for your thoughtful comments. And you know, as much as I think it’s important to pay attention to our shortcomings–I tend to agree with you on hypocrisy–people sometimes seem to throw the ‘h-bomb’ as an excuse not to act. As if to say that one person’s imperfection means we shouldn’t bother trying to strive for ideals. . .
“Do you have any ‘luxurious’ or extremely frugal spending habits that seem contradictory to others?”
Definitely! We own a bmw which make people make comments. That car is in a way the essence of our way of living: clean, tidy, simple and best quality. We own a huge sony tv (which is used as a computer display as well) and a expensive (modern and best quality we could afford) computer – those two are the center of our indoors entertainment and a powerful tool for internet, photo editing, film editing (my husband is passionate about these activities).
We own good (and expensive…) brands of photo and film cameras, kitchen tools, shoes
On the other hand we rent a small apartment which makes people ask questions, we don’t have a mortgage (so we don’t own a house), we don’t go out often for diner or drinks, we don’t follow the fashion, we cook at home from scratch most of what we eat (that’s extreme again, I get loads of funny looks) and many other frugal things. I even made some cheese yesterday! 
And I plan to go further, to make my own yogurt, grow some more plants and may other things. Life for me is so much more exciting this way!
I started for a few weeks to rinse my hair with vinegar & water and it feels great. I am not ready yet to go for the home made shampoo but I making steps. My plan is to finish all the shampoo and conditioner bottles first, while I finish my washing with vinegar. The next stage will be to never buy conditioner again and only use the vinegar and maybe some natural things. (I thing I went into toooo much detail yet. It looks I feel confy here on your virtual house 
)
Reading the blogs you recommended today I just found out about the crystal deodorant which for me is a life saver as I am not yet prepared to go for the hand made product based on baking soda, but in the same time i just need an alternative to what is on the market these days. So thank so much!
I try not to judge people for the way they live, I even try not to think about it! It’s safer and even saves time and sanity.
“When you decide to spend less or more, what motivates you?”
This one is complex! If an item will bring me or my family good, quality, safe, long lasting satisfaction, then it definitely worth some extra money. If the return is big, then spending big is grand! I try to spend less on things that are NOT that important for me or my family.
“Do you think being frugal is an end in itself or you do see saving money as part of a greater plan?”
While for years I was almost frugal just for not being wasteful, the beginning of this year just broth me a step forward… I started to think what is the purpose of me refraining from little meaningless treats today if the other day I splash on an other treat maybe more expensive, like a piece of clothing or shoes, when I don’t actually need them. Little by little I found out about the budgets, the emergency found, frugality and all the things frugal people talk on the internet these days.
I realized I have a greater plan worth saving for. And I start looking at my every day little efforts in the light of the big plan. So for now my savings serve a greater purpose instead of being splashed the next day on a take away or who-knows-what.
P.S. That’s a long answer. I apologies… I might need my own blog 
)
Maria–thanks for your answer! “I try not to judge people for the way they live, I even try not to think about it! It’s safer and even saves time and sanity.” I think those are great words to live by. It’s interesting to hear about your evolution when it comes to not wasting, being frugal and even to working towards a greater goal. And I smiled to myself about your good quality computer. . .we’re the same in that department.
As for starting your own blog, you’ll have to let me know if you do that–you have an interesting story!
Not sure if it a contradiction. If it is, then we all have some contradictions in our lives.
I am somewhat frugal in a lot of areas. Don’t eat out a lot. Buy store brand items in many cases because it is cheaper and really can’t tell the difference. I do some baking because I like it. Don’t know if it saves much money.
In other areas I am willing to spend more. Either because it is something important to me(bikes, wine), or because better quality is sometimes cheaper in the long run.
As long as you stay true to your principles and live within your means, do what works for you.
David, you might be secretly French with your interest in bikes and wines 
As you point out, sometimes spending a little more will get you something of better quality that ends up being cheaper in the long run.
And I tend to think it’s not such a contradiction either to prioritize spending–but you’d be surprised at the number of people who do.
Somewhat of a contradiction, yes. Sometimes I end up spending lots of time to save a ridiculous amount only to spend 10 times more on other things. I think I associate frugality with the extreme savings and in that regard, I am not frugal and I will never be. I do envy those who can do it because I think it gives them more control over their lives.
The “middle of the pack” frugality is part common sense and part necessity to me. I bake bread partly because it is expensive to buy good bread here and because I refuse to buy the 99c packaged bread full of chemicals. I cook everything from scratch for the same reasons. I will never attempt to not heat my appartment; it can easily get to -30C over here in the winter. I do like a bottle of wine every now and then,good quality coffee and tea and so on. I hate gadgets and don’t buy them. But in the end, I still find it hadr to stick to a budget …
Oh, I feel that I’ve found a whole bunch of soul mates here! And we all have a soul mate in Amy D of Tightwad Gazette fame, who wrote about how she would not buy tuna if it was a cent over 49 cents, but would spring for an antique bed and a large house on a large piece of property.
Mona–it’s great to see you again. Your comment “I refuse to buy the 99c packaged bread full of chemicals” spoke to me. Sometimes I’m frugal about something not because of the dollar or the euro I save but because of the principle of not wanting to pay for some things–like items I can make better myself.
As for our heating experiment, we quickly learned that it gets quite cold here as well, BUT we also learned that living in the most insulated home available to us would make a big difference in using the heater–or not. So we gained from it
Frugal Scholar–I love the comparison of the can of tuna and the antique bed or the house on a piece of property. I have yet to read the Tightwad Gazette . . .but your comment has inspired me.
And I’m glad you’ve found a few soul mates here!
My philosophy has always been one of cultivating and appreciating frugal luxuries. As you already know, I’ve devoted much of my life and work to it!
It’s always been my belief that each of us must decide on our own definition of the words. To some, a good cup of coffee and/or glass of wine is a necessary feeding of senses and soul. Others may find it a frivolous waste.
(FYI: I’m a proponent of the former…a good cup of coffee is an especially favorite frugal luxury of my own!:)
It has been my experience that the definition of the term “frugal luxury” is as varied and transient as the individual(s) defining it.
It is a paradox yet…when properly cultivated…it can become a lovely marriage of the prosaic and the poetic.
Wonderful post, as always.
Thank you.
Warmly,
Tracey McBride
P.S. Your vintage desk is lovely…the pizza scrumptious!!
You spend according to what you care about; we all should do so. I cut my husband and kids’ hair as well! =) I’ve been doing this for at least 6 years. As for me, I have long hair and usually tie it up so only need 1 haircut a year.
At the same time, I splurge on food and sometimes travel. So I guess I’m like you in some ways.
Find me a person without any contradiction and I’ll show you a liar. It’s human nature.
I spend an ever-luvin TON on food, because I love it, I care where it comes from, I care about how it was grown and I care about the people who grow/raise it. Lots of frugal folks chuff over what I spend on food, mainly meat, but I’m more interested in true cost than getting the best deal.
I do try to find new ways to cut costs not only so that I can save money but so that I can afford to spend more money on the stuff that really matters. Like wine.
I love the observation by LSF&G that we practice frugality not “for the experience of ‘giving something up’… [but] for what [we] stand to gain.” That is so true. If all we did was save money, then we’d be nothing but misers.
If someone can afford an object, and its possession would bring he or she pleasure, then I can see no objection or contradiction in its purchase. Like many who comment here, my own obsession is with good food. I will happily spend a bit more money to have quality ingredients or to enjoy a good restaurant. (BTW, the photos of delicious looking food that SIF keeps posting are driving me mad with hunger. I think I’ll be having pizza for dinner tonight.)
I suspect that what many of us are seeking from a frugal lifestyle is an end to the tyranny of debt and the fear, insecurity and chains of dependency that debt fosters. The freedom of independence is unremarkable until it is absent.
Tracey–thanks for the visit and the lovely comment! By the way, I’ll have to get back to your site soon. . .pregnant onions? Who could resist?
Jersey mom–I was just telling my husband the other day that I was pretty sure I could cut his hair–after watching the barber do it. He said it was the work of a true professional How did you learn?
As for food and travel, I think we have a trend here!
Consciously Frugal–why do your comments always make me laugh out loud? On a more serious note, I like that you mentioned keeping the ‘true cost’ of what you buy in mind. We eat relatively little meat, but it’s grass-fed organic when we do. Have you ever seen that documentary, King Corn? It made me picky (er) about meat.
Maus–I hah! I plead guilty to posting my foodie pictures. It’s funny because food pictures on other blogs have the same effect on me–even if I’ve just eaten.
As for the freedom of independence being unremarkable until it’s absent–I agree. But once you lose it and gain it back, I don’t think you ever forget.
Like Jersey Mom, I cut my husband’s hair; he likes it short and I use a set of clippers we bought with a wedding present gift voucher for £20, 14 years ago – that’s a lot of money saved. On the other hand, I have a hairdresser friend who comes to me and I pay her 1/3 more than she charges – frugality isn’t the same as meanness; I know money is tight for her and I can afford it; I’m giving a little bit to her without being Lady Bountiful and, besides, she has been very generous in the past to me and many others. If we had to pay somone to cut my husband’s hair, we couldn’t afford to be generous to our friend; frugality is, to us, about choices. In the long run, it can be cheaper, too; we bought a £200 mattress that was vile, lasted 2 years and gave me pain. Then we bought a £450 mattress that is a cloud to lie on, makes my back smile and gives us both a heavenly night’s sleep; we hope it will last us at least 10 years. A succession of cheap ones would cost us £1000 over ten years and bad sleep. We buy good coffee, tea and cheese; not the silly money type but basic good stuff, but we trim costs on other, less important things.
What each person indulges in is different. A lot of people think that everyone should indulge in the same things but it’s just not like that. I do a lot of the same things that you do frugally. The same people who raise their eyebrows at me are the first one to complain about how they don’t have any money and look at me as if I should provide them with luxuries that we choose not pay for.
Attila–I like your reflection that saving money in one place allows you to be generous in another. As for a good mattress, that’s one place we spend too. I hate back pain!
Laura–”A lot of people think that everyone should indulge in the same things” and “The same people who raise their eyebrows at me are the first one to complain about how they don’t have any money and look at me as if I should provide them with luxuries that we choose not pay for.” I’ve had a little bit of experience with this as well!
Although we live what to some would be an extremely frugal and strange lifestyle, we still have our little luxuries… like good coffee, luckily its cheap here, we at the moment run a mororbike, occasionally… which is at odds with the general lifestyle choices we’ve made… but we love it! Yes frugality is good, as is trying to safe guard the world , but sometimes, just sometimes you have to give yourself a little indulgence… its all as you say about priority… within moderation too… I could buy honey at 2.99 a jar in town… but I buy it at 5 euros a jar from the man in the village… it tastes fantastic, and the hives are in the forest near my house… is that a contradiction? Quality sometimes counts for more… as does beauty… like the antique bed thing… we should all have beauty in our lives…
SIF–I think I’ve seen almost all of them. King Corn, The Future of Food (Monstanto is evil!), Food, Inc., and have read The Omnivore’s Dilemma, etc., etc. But I have to say, the thing that most sticks out in my mind are the signs along the country roads of my childhood: “STOP MEGA FARMS.” All posted by families being pushed out of their farms, homes and livelihoods in the face of Big Ag. It means everything to me to be able to hand over a wad of cash directly to a small farmer. 20 some years later, I still ache for those families back home.
(This one will definitely not make you laugh out loud!)
[...] Many of the readers of this blog already speak more than one language, but in my humble opinion, whether you speak just your native tongue or have mastered several languages, there’s always room for more! The only limiting factor is time . . .and maybe to a lesser extent, money. Although for me, learning new languages falls under the list of luxuries I permit myself. [...]
Patricia–well said! (And we splurge on honey too)
Consciously Frugal–you’re right. It’s not funny. I often forget the human tragedy involved in exporting people off their small farms so that larger farms can take over.
I have been sticking to a retail budget of $100 a month. For me, since I’ve averaged $500/mo. over the past year, that is a huge success. I also limit myself to $250-ish/mo. in groceries, which I think is pretty frugal. But the all-time winner in the “things we do to be as frugal as humanly possible” would have to be a mutual friend of ours who does not buy groceries (she and her boyfriend dumpster dive) and has veggie oil diesel trucks that cost virtually nothing to run.
Now I would never personally dumpster dive, but I have visited her and eaten her dumpster-fetched meals and I must say, the food they “harvest” is perfectly sound. They even dumpster dive for dog food, which is something that I would actually consider doing, if I had a dog.
So this friend of ours has lived in this manner quite happily for years, getting by doing a couple of catering jobs and cleaning a couple of houses per month, giving her plenty of free time to do whatever she wants. However, at the current time, said friend has decided the world is going to end in 2012 and is using credit to build a retreat center in Peru to help prepare humanity for their next stage of evolution, and to build up her homestead so that she can supposedly survive after the impending apocalypse. So if 2012 doesn’t happen as planned, she is screwed.
I guess you could take this as a cautionary tale on what can happen if your frugal habits lead you to have TOO much free time on your hands that you cook up crazy notions that end up saddling you with debt that, barring an end-times scenerio, you will have to pay back whether you are enlightened and evolved or not!
Oh Pickler! Hah–thanks for the cautionary tale. I’ll let you know if I get so frugal as to begin to build a doomstead–although I must say that a self-sufficient farm kind of does appeal to me. And if the world doesn’t end in 2012, our friend will have a nifty compound in Peru that we can visit. Good times! Hey, aren’t you going to Peru?
Yes, we are going in July. Can’t wait!
PS Glad DH is home and doing well. Also, your blog is getting quite a following! Wow! Julio says hi.
No, not at all.
I pinch pennies on things that don’t matter much to me or which i think are enormously overpriced for what they are…clothing, shampoo and other “disposables” are good examples.
But I’m willing to spend money on things that will last. Most people spend so much on little things that add up over time; I strive to minimize my spending on the small stuff because it comes and goes like sand falling between your fingers.
Fern–great metaphor–sand falling between your fingers. It’s true, you don’t even see that kind of money slipping by. Like you, I prefer to focus on purchases that make an actual difference in my life.
by Carnival of Personal Finance #253 (Demotivational Version) | Punch Debt In The Face
[...] Simple Life in France presents Pinching Pennies, Indulging in Luxuries. [...]
I think that the ultimate luxury is spending money on what is really important to you and something that you can’t do or make for yourself.
I love the photo of your DIY pizza. Tonight I made pizzas for my little family ( we usually by them) and my husband said that they were the best pizzas he had ever had ( and he is a pizza nazi!).
Make and do what you can, and then buy the rest of your luxuries!
We don’t buy new cars every 3 years, drink coffee, smoke, or drink alcohol very often. We also don’t bar-hop with friends or buy new clothes unless something wears out. I just don’t care about those things enough to spend money on them.
But, we do have a biweekly housekeeper ($45) and lawn care guy ($25). We also take big annual vacations (about $2000). We even spent $6000 last year on a complete bedroom set and a Tempurpedic mattress.
We spend money on the things we value like you said. I see money as a tool…if you prioritize your spending, money will enable you to survive, plan for your future, and to have fun in between.
Non-Consumer Girl–Hah! The pizza nazi–I have to admit I’m becoming one as well. I like the way you consider luxuries to be something you can’t make yourself. Interesting notion.
Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. I think that’s what it all boils down to: prioritizing. Now if people complain to me that they’re broke, yet pay for a housekeeper and vacations, that just makes me roll my eyes. But if you are happy with your lifestyle and the financial security you can make for yourself, then I think you’ve found your balance.
“Do you have any ‘luxurious’ or extremely frugal spending habits that seem contradictory to others?”
I am all about experiences, so I will spend my money on traveling, cruising, skydiving, training & education, etc.
on the other hand I only drink water when I am at a resturant, i was use and reuse plasticware, i shop at Ross/Marshalls/TJ Maxx, I use storebrand products
Broke by Choice–ah the experiences. I like to think/say that I’ve gotten a grip on spending on experiences . . . and I have to some extent. But still, I’ll go off and spend several weeks in Mexico, or make another trans-Atlantic move (not exactly cheap eh?). And education–I’m a stickler for education. What can I say?
[...] that education is more than a simple, financial investment. In my case, it was one of the best frugal luxuries I’ve allowed myself. I’m even going to argue that it can constitute a ‘good [...]
Definitely – I would prefer to spend on travel, entertainment, experiences (all rather pricey) rather than clothes or drinks after work or makeup. But everyone has different priorities.
It is not a contradiction. Your purpose in frugality is to not be bogged down in debt, and to still be able to enjoy the things that you do. You are prioratizing, and doing so without a credit card. Instead of spending as usual, you do for yourself what you can and enjoy doing so you have actual cash for other things.
People are just scared of change, so they point out perceived hypocrasy so that they can feel better and say “See they are not doing any better than I”