Struggles with ‘Stuff’: Is it just me . . .
Does anyone else out there buy stuff they don’t need? I’m not going to lie, I’ve bought things I don’t need before. I’ll probably do it again! Generally, when I fall into such a trap, I discover that I wasn’t thinking things through and was kind of ‘flying on autopilot.’
So where does the habitual buying pattern come from? I’ve argued in the past that consumerism is hard-wired into evolutionary biology, and that if we want to fight it, we have to consciously think about our habits. In my humble and non-expert opinion, we also have plenty of cultural pressures and constructs that make purchasing ‘more’ a habit. And let’s face it: our habitual, default behavior is much easier to maintain than something unusual, different or culturally . . . weird.
I’ve definitely made progress toward avoiding the consumer trap–but it was hard! Here are some of the actions/habits that helped me change my ways. If you’re thinking they look kind of extreme, you’re probably right. It took rather extreme measures for me to break out of old habits. Do any of the following look like something you’ve done . . . or would do?
- (Involuntarily) Living on a budget that was much smaller than what I was used to in 2003.
- Not buying anything new for a year back in 2004 . . . a habit that has stuck with me to an extent.
- Not watching commercial TV or reading magazines.
- Not ‘hanging out’ in areas where there is nothing to do but shop.
- Getting more rest (I don’t know why, but I’ve noticed that having more time to engage in exercise and my passions, keeps me from overspending).
- Track my spending. I have a space in my end of the month budget for ’stuff.’ When I used to spend more on random things I didn’t really need, I found that adding it up at the end of the month . . .and the end of the year motivated me to change my habits.
What about you?
Have you ever struggled with buying more ’stuff’ than you need? Are you simply someone who never bought into consumer culture? What strategies do you recommend to someone wanting to cut down on their consumer habits?
Susan, I like it. And it’s interesting to note that some purchases are, in fact, really important. I don’t think you can argue that life without ever buying anything would be very fun. But I often feel like as a society, we’ve managed to go beyond that occasional purchase so a whole new level. As you put it, a level that ‘requires’ bigger houses and walk-in closets!
First off, I do not like clutter. But buying some stuff that we want doesn’t necessarily add to the clutter as long as we donate what is not needed or wanted constantly.
If the kids want to buy some toys with the money that they’ve saved up, I don’t have any objections. If J wants to buy a new DVD he really wants & we’re under budget, I don’t have any objections. I would buy a piece of artwork that I really like if I’m under budget. You get the idea. I’m not against buying as long as we’re within budget and the house is clean and organized.
We are mostly cluttered with clothes and papers that need to be thrown out. I did find myself buying too much from yard sales at one point. It’s cheap right? And it’s definately fun to go yardsaling..but it’s been years since I’ve been. There are also several purchases that stick out in my mind that we didn’t really have room for such as a huge laundry sorter.
I don’t go into any stores other than the grocery store unless I reaaaally need something (ie underwear). And when I go into a non-grocery store, I don’t browse. I get the specific item and walk out (well, after paying). It’s helped tremendously — I no longer view a store as a place to ‘pop in,’ ’swing by,’ or ‘browse.’
I have absolutely struggled with the stuff bug. It was part of my family culture to go shopping each weekend for no particular reason, mainly just for entertainment purposes. That gets to be expensive entertainment when you spend hundreds of dollars over the course of the month. Today, I try to find other things for entertainment and hobbies, rather than spending time in stores and malls. I have found it to be a much more fulfilling life.
Jersey Mom–I think for me the useful distinction is deciding whether you really want or even need something. For me, buying something new only to ’shed’ it by donating, selling or trashing it a few years later doesn’t make a lot of sense. But I guess kids will be constantly outgrowing their toys as you mention. As for art–do you find that you keep the same art and just add to your collection or are you cycling through?
Laura–Hah, yard sales. I think that must be kind of tricky. I’m similar with the ‘brocante’ here in town–they sell vintage, not quite antique items. There is always something interesting, neat-looking and practically indestructible, the problem is making sure you actually needed it. I guess there’s a strong impulse to buy something when it’s perceived as a good deal. I suppose you also find useful and practical things at yard sales too, right?
Emily–good point on browsing too. If you know precisely what you need before you set foot in a store, then you are less likely to wander around and find something you just kind of like. As for grocery stores, I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find myself browsing for things I really don’t need there too!
Bible debt–Shopping for entertainment purposes is usually a good way to spend too much money and amass stuff you don’t need or want. I’d be curious to hear what kinds of other hobbies you adopted in exchange for shopping. Thanks for stopping by.
I like your point about not hanging out where shopping is the only entertainment. When people are on vacation, that’s what they tend to do! I don’t consider shopping entertainment – it’s a means to an end.
Like you, I have found that not watching TV or reading magazines helps and I have really lost my appetite for the latest fad.
Probably my biggest check is just making myself WAIT before buying something non-food (even toiletries). I am never good at spontaneity, and so when I take the time, I find that I ruminate on what I’m thinking of buying and can often justify it (I buy it) or realize I don’t need it and find an alternative I already have. Surprisingly, an Ebay auction is good for this because I usually wait until the end of an auction to bid. Right now I’m watching a pair of sandals for my son and I have gone over and over in my head whether or not he needs them and yes, I have decided I would rather he wore non-sneakers to church!
Margo–thanks for adding the idea of waiting on a purchase. That’s a really great way of keeping yourself from buying things you don’t really need. As you point out, it’s sometimes possible to find a way around purchasing something new, or to find it used or even free. For instance, when I want a new kitchen gadget lately I just wait and see what I can turn up. I’ve found people wanting to get rid of le creuset cookware and a pressure cooker! I was glad I waited to buy either of those since the ones that were given to me are just great and will probably last forever. Do you shop a lot on e-bay? I’m thinking of trying to find a grain mill there.
I never struggled with buying more stuff than I need. It always came natural. 
I can honestly recall believing that I could afford it if they approved me!
Each person is motivated for different reasons. Each must find that trigger to change their behavior. For me it was kids and a wake up call in the form of a PBS documentary.
These days my shopping tends to go like this:
“I want and could find specific good use for thing x”
Then, since thing x is probably rare (I have unusual tastes) though thankfully not terribly expensive, I spend days, weeks, or more searching for it. If I finally find one and still want it, I will buy it.
So in other words, my purchases are well thought out, not just consumer-driven “oh hey, that looks pretty!”
I used to struggle with the “look, shiny!” shopping bug, but it just…stopped. I’d like to say I have a tip or a reason, but I just don’t struggle with it lately. Even on the rare occasions I see something like that, I carry it around the store until I debate how much I will actually use it, and 19 times out of 20, I will put it back.
Before I met my husband, I was kindof a miser – right away, he convinced me to throw out all my clothes-with-holes (almost all of my clothes at the time, including the converse sneakers), and he helped me shop for new, presentable ones. He’s always been more of a shopper, though some of it has rubbed off on me.
Since we’ve moved to Australia, I see a big difference in how much stuff we buy – for lots of reasons, though: we know we’re only here a few years, so it’s a bit easier to resist (and we know we’d have to move it back!), we don’t watch much TV here at all, some goods are expensive far beyond what seems reasonable to us – so it’s easy to make do without, plus we are in a small place, so there just isn’t room for random stuff! I really like this way of living, and I hope we can continue it after we move back.
We do still have our downfalls – books and puzzles seem to be what would take over the house if we let them – though books are SO unreasonably expensive here ($25 for a paperback!) it’s somewhat easier to resist…
LeanLifeCoach–’If they approve me, I can afford it.’ How funny!– but I think a lot of people operate with that kind of mind set. I really do think that there’s a natural tendency to collect ‘more’ at all times. I watched a great News Hour segment on that about a year ago. I’d be curious to know what kind PBS documentary you saw. Sound interesting.
Jennifer–I think that knowing you want something in advance is probably a safer bet than going with the ‘look shiny’ phenomenon in the store–as you call it. I’m curious about what you’re buying that is rare that you have to search out. Do you buy clothes that way?
L–$25 for a paperback! Ack! I think that you point to a few more excellent ways of taming the ‘buy it’ tendency: living in a small place and knowing you’re going to move. We’ve moved so much in past years that I scrutinize each purchase, saying to myself, “Do I really want to have to haul this stuff around in a few years?!?!” It works for us.
SIF, my tastes trend strongly towards sixties vintage, and the current versions of that trend look cheap and plasticky. (In fact, many of the products made today are intended to wear out so we replace it, and products then were meant to last, so it is natural for the modern version to seem cheap and plasticky.)
Currently I am still on the search for a vintage hatbox and traincase. eBay is a great resource, but if you don’t want to pay out the nose you have to keep from getting outbid–I keep getting outbid.
I don’t buy clothes that way, usually I stick to the stores nearby, thrift shops, and when I have the time and energy I make my own from storebought patterns.
More and more though, and it may possibly have something to do with my disillusionment with today’s society, I try to look for things that represent the past, when the future seemed brighter, and have distaste for things from today. I wonder if all people connect aesthetics with lifestyles, or if this is just some quirk I have developed?
Jennifer–Hah! My mom has some vintange items from the 60s that she doesn’t know what to do with . . .but won’t get rid of. Some of it is quite cute actually. I know what you mean about items like clothes etc self-destructing by the way–or just looking cheap and plastic-y. It’s interesting that you make your own clothes. If I even come across a cheap, used sewing machine around here, I may pick one up myself. My main motivation is the poor quality of tops–It’s easy to find pants and skirts that will last for a long time, but most of tops I’ve seen lately in stores look like they’ll fall apart after one season. I hate that.
As for linking aesthetics to lifestyles–I assume you mean using your clothing as an outward expression of the way you live or what you think? We can use clothing to determine all kinds of things about people, I suppose. I’m reminded on some earlier discussions on this blog where people pointed out that you are communicating something with what you wear. And I can’t pretend I don’t use clothing as a way of making a guess about people that I see–especially when I don’t have much else to go on.
I think that by writing down what I want and avoiding wandering aimlessly in malls or shopping areas really help. If I have a clear goal in mind of what I want when I go shopping, it’s a lot easier to eliminate the things that are worth the time evaluating.
Well, I think most of us buy things we don’t *need,* because we really don’t need that much to survive. I’m okay with buying things I want, but what I hate is when I buy things I think I want or will use in the heat of the moment, but then I end up not using it.
I have a problem with clothes. I don’t buy massive amounts of clothes, but there are more than I like that I think look good in the store, then I get them home and end up not wearing them. My closet is crowded with clothes I don’t feel great in and don’t wear. I’ve become more aware of this over the last few years since I’ve tried to shed excess stuff, but it’s still amazing how much I have. Sometimes it feels like a never-ending cycle!
SIF- well that is a different discussion for a different time. I was not really referring strictly to clothes and I wasn’t really referring strictly to individual tastes: I was referring to all of our stuff and society as a whole. That’s what I thought was probably an unusual outlook. 
Aspiring Minimalist–writing it down is a great idea. I still do that if I go to the grocery store–but the place I find that indispensable is COSTCO. If I don’t write it down, I become a deer in the headlights and my husband ends up with 3 new dvd’s good thing we don’t have Costco in France.
Min-hus–I’ve definitely fallen into the clothing trap before, but I notice it’s not because I don’t like the clothes once I get them home but because I haven’t accurately judged what I can wear things with. The killer is often shoes for me. . .you know when you have a nice outfit and then you realize it doesn’t go with any of the shoes you have? Maybe it’s just me since I don’t have a lot of shoes. For that reason, when I buy new, I try to buy something I can take home, try out with other clothes and return if it won’t work.
I like your point about not ‘needing’ everything we buy as well. I think we’re very far removed from the concept of need today. For example, do we need a car? People all over the globe do without and a century ago nobody needed a car. . .
Jennifer–Fair enough! I’m sure it’s an interesting discussion to have though . . .which is why I can’t wait for you to start a blog someday. You’re right, I’ll have to mull that one over–how society as a whole equates lifestyle to possessions. I suppose you mean like those car commercials that imply that if you buy a certain truck you will suddenly become someone who spends lots of time on outdoors adventures.
Like min hus I will fall into a clothes trap if I let myself (and sometimes I let myself.) My new tactic is keeping the tags on for a couple of days and trying it on at least a few more times over the course of those days–in different lighting, with different articles of clothing and jewelry that I already have. I think it works! Last month, with spring coming and panicking that I don’t have any summer clothes, I bought about $300 worth of clothes, but I ended up returning about $175 worth. If you’ve started to regret a purchase, returning it can be as exciting as buying it in the first place.
AMD–I agree on returning things that don’t work out. But I know that here in France it’s actually harder to do than in the States. I don’t know about other countries . . .
The items we buy new and shed by donating include: clothes that the kids have outgrown, shoes the kids have outgrown, toys for younger children, backpacks that are too small to hold their folders and books, bags & purses given to me that I do not use, etc.
I rarely buy artworks but when I find something I love, I keep them. I haven’t sold any of the art I own (yet).
All I was trying to say was that I do not see a problem with buying things we really want as long as we are under budget.
Jersey Mom–sure, if you can afford it and you know you really want, why not? I actually kind of like the idea of buying artwork though–if you got tired of it you could resell it . . . almost like a decorative investment.
I’m getting better at resisting impulse purchasing and the regret from previous wasteful purchases in the past serves me well.
Muji–Welcome. And the regret factor is a good motivator. I really hate when I have visual confirmation of stuff around me I just don’t need.
I struggle with stuff all the damn time and I can’t stand it!
I hope to just once and for all get rid of everything and just be a monk sometimes
Financial Samurai–it’s funny how everyone is different. I have people ask me, “Why shouldn’t I buy more stuff?” Those are obviously folks that don’t feel burdened by their belongings. Your idea of ‘getting rid of everything’ reminds me a little bit of going backpacking. If you think about it, many people spend a lot of time and money amassing more stuff and then head into the hills with just a backpack in the effort to ‘leave it all behind’ for a bit.
[...] At some point in the not so distant past, you woke up and said, “Huh? where the heck did all this stuff come from?” You’re wondering why you even have some of these things. In fact, you’re pretty sure you have stuff in your home that you have entirely forgotten about waiting to be discovered . . .as in an archeological dig. You’re ready and determined to purge! Eventually. In the meantime, you still may find yourself struggling not to add more stuff to the mix. [...]
I have found that if I only shop for necessities I feel bad. There are times you need something beautiful that is not on the list.
Like today, I bought a new planter and plant. Okay, 7 new plants. Those purchases were for my soul.
Otherwise, I don’t shop as a hobby. There is no reason for me to go the the mall or downtown stores. I limit myself to thrift stores twice a month (I could live there finding treasures)
It was hard to break the habit of shopping. And like any addict, I miss it!
The best reasons for not bringing anymore stuff into the house: 1. we don’t feel the need to upscale to a larger house (mortgage, taxes, decor) 2. Less stuff around the house means less work cleaning, dusting, organizing 3. We wear our clothes until they wear out, don’t need no stinking walk-in closet. 4. Forget about changing our linens, dishes, decor for each and every season or holiday 5. save for the retirement house, vacations with the kids, romantc holidays etc.