Technology and entertainment making us unhappy?
A friend recently recounted over dinner in our home that he could remember sitting around with family late into the evening, soaking up long, rambling conversations with a clay roofing tile on his leg and a hammer in his hand–shelling walnuts. For him, this was a happy memory. And then he pointed out,
Try taking away my grand daughter’s cell phone and making her sit up with the old folks all night shelling walnuts. We’ll just see what happens . . .
Times have certainly changed. Every day, I hear people questioning whether the global economy will allow us to sustain our love affair with cable, 24-hour TV, cell phones, internet. . .and whether we wouldn’t be better off without them.
Gadgets, toys and disposable income–inversely related to connections with people?
Are we, as Putnam once argued in Bowling Alone, experiencing a loss in ’social capital’ due to the various opportunities to ‘plug in’ to some form of technology or entertainment? Putnam’s book of course, focused on a predicament in the US, fretting over the lack of people involved in social organizations. Notably, that book was written from a US perspective, still, I hear people worrying in France about the same issues.
Can technologies and gadgets actually connect people? Think of the last time you saw a teenager free to use his/her cellphone at will. It’s almost as if they’ve created a means in which they can stay in constant contact with others. Internet can be used in much the same way. Look at blogging, for example! Here I am, typing up my ideas and engaging others out there in a conversation. I ‘meet’ people all over the world, read what they have to say, get to know their way of thinking and their perspective on life, jump into discussions. I may not be seeing these people face to face, but you cannot argue with the social nature of this media.
Is our disposable income and our use of technology taking away from real relationships? It’s hard for me to say. I can certainly think of some examples of people I know for whom this is true. They come home from work and turn on the TV or log into a video game and don’t look up again. This hardly teaches a person to relate to others. It hardly forges connections. Then again, use of technology hardly has to mean avoiding social situations to the kind of extremes I’ve just mentioned. . .
Would a reduction in standard of living break our addiction to technology, making us . . .happier??
Would a sudden drop in income lead you to abandon some of your technological pastimes? In our recent discussion on where to cut back in a pinch, many people pointed to cable, cell phones and other ‘gadgets’ as their first line of cuts. So I suppose a sudden decline in standard of living might limit purchase and use of these technological commodities.
Would a sudden drop in time spend with electronics and entertainment make you a happier person? I must admit that I actually dread my cell phone. I can’t really get used to it. I have no desire to be in constant contact with people who are not actually with me. I also have grown shockingly weary of social media like Facebook–I initially enjoyed it as a way to keep in touch with friends while living abroad, but really I find myself unable to keep up with the Vampire Wars and the virtual lives of others. Still, I enjoy the internet and am addicted to the fact that if a strange question pops into my mind, I can dig around and find an answer. And I do enjoy blogging and reading blogs.
But with the suddenly beautiful weather and springtime in the Alps, I’m reminded that I can be happy for days on end without technology.
What do you think?
Do you think we will be forced to cut back on consumption of technology and entertainment in days to come? Will it make us better, happier people??
Weekly Post Picks:
I may be a little behind in my posting, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a few great blog posts to share with you this week. Enjoy:
On Funny about Money: an interesting article on unemployment, political polarization as major threats to the US economy in United We Stand
Consciously Frugal asks Are you Wealthy? and gives us a Global Perspective.
On Canadian Dream: Free at 45, Dave wonders whether gambling on sports team would be a better bet than Playing the Stock Market.
From Laura at Move to Portugal, we get a budget primer in How we work that: budget.
And Lean Life Coach from Eliminate the Muda ponders the topic of alternative Retirement Dwellings in this interesting economy.
Thanks for the mention!
I doubt people will get rid of the electronics in the face of economic adversity. Take a look at people in developing countries and at poor folks in our countries: cell phones, computers, and televisions are ubiquitous. My students, most of whom are in dire financial straits, all carry cell phones and iPods around. In the U.S., a person can be on welfare and never even think of the possibility of selling the television to buy food.
Well, on the subject of what I’d be doing without the “communications” gadgetry… Just now it’s 5:30 of a stunningly gorgeous morning. Would I be walking the dog and enjoying the last few days of decent weather this summer if I weren’t sitting here punching a keyboard? Probably not. I’d be fixing breakfast and reading the paper.
Would I have more friends and a more active social life if I did not spend my days in front of a computer monitor? Probably not. Before we had computers, I gardened more, shopped more, read magazines a lot, walked the dogs more, did a lot of handyperson projects around the house (come to think if it, I’ve got, to touch up the paint in these two houses!!!). But I never had a social life.
Are “connections” made across tens of thousands of miles with people whose faces we will never see phony? Probably. But I would say that blogs like yours and Frugal Scholar, A Gai Shan Life, and Budgeting in the Fun Stuff enrich my life in a number of ways.
Is Facebook risky and gadgety? Probably. But having discovered that everyone on my choir is on Facebook and limited most of the communication there to those people only, I’m quickly discovering that daily communication with people with whom I normally have a passing, once-a-week acquaintance at least opens the door to to building real friendships.
Do I miss mowing the lawn, reading stacks of magazines every day, dodging would-be rapists while walking big dogs around urban streets, and climbing on ladders to repair things, scrape off old wallpaper and paint walls? Probably not.
It’s a trade-off.
Well as one who doesn’t have cable, but still feels I spend to much time in front of the television, computer or with the radio on… I think technology is both a blessing and a curse. It allows us to “keep in touch” with loved ones and friends across the globe, and “meet” people throught their blogs that we would not otherwise meet, but the constant hum drum of technology is also preventing us from having meaningful relationships. I cannot tell you how many times I see people out with other people and still on the phone. If you are having dinner with me, then have dinner with me and turn off your phone. It drives me nuts that DH gets up and answers the phone during dinner.
I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t have cable tv, in fact, I only borrow movies and old tv shows from the library to watch occasionally, maybe once a week or so. I like the fact that computers exist because it’s a whole-wide library where I can look anything up in a matter of minutes, but I do not have a computer at home. I use my breaks and lunches at work to go on the computer to check the couple of blogs I read and the news. I only keep track of a few blogs. I don’t have a mile-long list of blogs I read or care about. I do think that many people really feel they have to do what everyone else is doing to fit in. God forbid you be different. It’s too scary for most people. I do get sick of seeing people with their cell phones glued to their ears. I’m sick of the priest at Church constantly reminding people to shut their cell phones off. They are only at Mass maybe 30-45 minutes and they are so afraid to lose the connections with the outside world. I feel sorry for them. Too dependent. They act as if they are a world leader waiting for a missile attack and can’t afford not to be connected. Sad. I think children especially have lost their imagination. Give them some blocks or leggos or a book and they’re bored in a matter of minutes. Not enough stimulation. No sound effects or constantly changing scenes. Even at the movies, which in America are pretty bad, there has to be a hundred things happening at once for people to get excited. Now they are coming out with 3-D because people are bored with ordinary movies. I think we have definitely lost something with our dependance on electronic gadgets. Maybe God will shake this world up by doing something about it. Bernadette
Technology and entertainment making us unhappy?
Well, some people get carried away with game playing or tv watching and forget about them, they forget to spend time with themselves and this certainly leads to some sort of unhappiness.
On the other hand I think that modern technology allow us to have more control over our social life. It’s up to each individual to stay connected or to just fade away behind the computer.
And as with everything in live, too much exposure or too much isolation is bad for our soul.
I think internet is the new era, in which communication and self-education became more accessible than ever. I think internet is progress for the man kind, more than all the gadgets added together.
Just imagine… I am talking to you now, I have never seen you but I can feel you and I feel we actually communicate ideas and feelings.
“Would a reduction in standard of living break our addiction to technology, making us . . .happier??”
Not really I think. People who hide behind a tv ore a game console will find other ways to hide in the absence of those.
“Would a sudden drop in time spend with electronics and entertainment make you a happier person?”
I can say I actually choose to limit watching TV and I gave up my mobile phone. This would make for a long stoy though.
“Do you think we will be forced to cut back on consumption of technology and entertainment in days to come? Will it make us better, happier people??”
I think yes, we will be somehow constrained to cut back, it will make sense for more and more people to do so.
It’ll make us happier only if we make the cut backs fully aware and not constrained in any way. I am not sure if it will make us better people, what’s the definition of better people 
?
That’s tricky. Being an introvert with nerdy interests, I have far more and deeper relationships thanks to the internet than in the real world. Technology makes it possible to find two sigma individuals who are interested in more than the weather, their kids, their kids’ sports, etc. Also, it makes it possible to converse in different ways which are more facilitating of complex ideas than flapping one’s lips together. Overall, I’m in favor. I don’t see hanging around in the internet as being less happy than say hanging around in bars or striking up conversations about timetables at bus stops.
When I was a teenager, I had a friend whose wealthy parents would only have one television–they didn’t want the kids each watching tv in their own rooms. And there were many tales of how uncomfortable it is to live in a mcmansion–people like to be close together. Seeing my students texting–and texting again after I tell them to put the device away–is disquieting. I had more failures than usual in a sophomore level lit class–significant? I don’t know.
On the plus side of tech–I need my frugal friends online. I don’t have many in real life. I think Bowling Alone is wrong–there are other kinds of communities, many of which are being forged through technology.
Beth–AHHH! “Kid’s need tv!!” scary–that is just scary. No, kids need to be raised by actual people–especially at 18 months. I mean, I suppose there might be some interesting educational shows, but they are certainly not mandatory.
Funny about Money I’ve noticed the same trend–buying electronics despite economic situation–here in France. And you also raise a point I’ve wondered about often–taking the technology out of our modern society certainly might very well not allow people to suddenly create deep social bonds! Technology and less (relatively speaking) social connection might just be two aspects of our Western culture that occur simultaneously–one doesn’t necessarily have to cause the other.
Tree Oh! That makes me nuts too. I hate when people bring a cell phone to a social situation and then answer it/talk on it. Um. . .voicemail! I also had dinner at someone’s house once and one of the other guests spent the entire meal texting–it was really shocking to me. I think it all depends a bit on how you chose to use the technology.
Bernadette “they are so afraid to lose the connections with the outside world” I get that sense from some people as well. I like to think I’m not one of them 
. Growing up, though, I certainly didn’t have a barrage of gadgets interfering with my life and I had opportunities to spend lengthy amounts of time out in nature with no gadgets around me at all, so I know I can live quite happily without them. Having worked with teenagers, I sometimes wonder if all kids realize this–I took a group of sixth graders to camp for a week last year and obviously they had no gadgets with them–for some of them it was a strange experience!! That really made me realize how much things have changed in just 20 years.
Maria All of these are excellent points! And I think it’s very easy to slip into a mode where you think you’d be happier or somehow better without the influence of technology. Your discussion of the internet reminded me a little of things people used to say about radio or TV when they first arrived on the scene–some thought that these technologies were going to isolate people or cause some other social problems–really, they just caused change. And you’re right, people who are going to hide from the world or avoid reality can find a way to do that without technology.
ERE “I don’t see hanging around in the internet as being less happy than say hanging around in bars or striking up conversations about timetables at bus stops.” You make an excellent point. I also find that internet allows me to discuss topics that interest me that don’t happen to interest everyone else. And I think Funny about Money’s point is relevant here–if you are already someone who likes to spend time alone, then not using internet does not mean you’re going to get out and spend that extra time socializing. When I don’t feel like being online, I usually spend the available time alone reading, writing, doing yoga, working on something. I actually like spending time alone. . .Perhaps internet makes me more social because I find myself ‘chatting’ with others in my downtime. . .
Frugal Scholar“I need my frugal friends online. I don’t have many in real life. I think Bowling Alone is wrong–there are other kinds of communities, many of which are being forged through technology.” Interesting points. The internet can allow you to take up conversations with and get support from like-minded people even if you’re kind of an outsider in some ways. I’ve certainly noticed that. And I think that BA does miss the possibility of online communities too–although I believe it dates back to ‘95, which, if you think about it, means it was not really able to take into account some of the more modern uses of technology. Also. . .I find the idea of several televisions in one house to be very disturbing as well. Although right now, DH and I are each in different rooms with our laptops. . .and that doesn’t bug me.
I realised just how insidious technology had become when my ex’s daughter once used her mobile to ring the house phone to check if dinner was ready – from her BEDROOM! She could have opened the door and shouted in a fraction of the time, even with speed-dial…
“Do you think we will be forced to cut back on consumption of technology and entertainment in days to come? Will it make us better, happier people??”
To this, I think, yes and yes…
For us socially awkward introverts, online communication is great. I personally have made more friends at work through Facebook than I probably would have otherwise.
The only thing that concerns me is that I see teenagers who don’t seem to know the appropriate time and place for technology use. For example, I had two former students come visit me, and they just said hi and immediately started texting (both texting on their individual phones). And I’m like, well, okay nice talking to you. It was pretty surreal.
Students in my yearbook class also get me mad because I’ll be talking to them, and they’ll be staring vacuously into their computer screen. I have to remind them to look at me when I’m talking to them!
So my only concern is that tech use is eroding social skills in teens. But for those of us with no social skills to begin with, it’s great!
Not to mention the fact that I met my boyfriend online! Three years and counting! I never had much luck meeting people in the conventional way…
Thank you for the link!
Like everything I think moderation is the answer; could I live without the Internet, yes, however I wouldn’t want to; I love the like minded online community I’m part of.
Cell phones are a different matter; I dislike mine ringing more than words can say, however my daughters seems to of attached itself to her hand; she would argue though that I spend more time online than her and between the choice of football in the park or computer time, she will always go outside.
All meal times are techno free in our house so we do get some simple family time.
How funny… I was just thinking about this exact topic the other day. I’ve told my husband, I wish we’d ditch the cellphones. I’m addicted to checking it every few minutes…like I am going to miss something ultra important. And it’s expensive!
All that stuff. It keeps our family separated in their rooms doing their tech stuff.
And there are so many avenues of technology…checking emails, checking site updates, twitter updates… its stressful trying to stay up with it all!
I definitely think we need to make time to step away from it. Maybe even pencil in a certain amount of tech time and stick to the schedule. Allow the rest of the time to remember the outdoors, our family and our other relationships.
Good post. I bet its beautiful in France.
I don’t think it’s as simple as that, technology is carrying the can for other changes in society. With increased disposable income we have become more individualistic, and been able to afford to live less interdependently.
If anything, technology might be offsetting this, helping keep us tenuously connected with more people. We are exchanging the pattern of fewer, deeper relations with people physically close to us for relating with a greater number of people to a shallower depth as we move around to chase work.
For me, the role of technology and social interaction is ambiguous. On the one hand, I don’t watch TV; consume many popular movies or follow professional sports; so I have very little fodder for water cooler chats with work colleagues or slight acquaintences. I am lost as it were when the subject is Lost.
I agree with Jacob from ERE that the internet has allowed me to find kindred souls that I may never actually meet in person, but with whom I feel a strong connection. Nevertheless, my strong preference is for spending actual face time with friends and family. But I had to laugh because just last Sunday I was having dinner with good friends of mine. One exclaimed, with the fervor of a prophet, that I MUST get an I-Phone. He proceeded to show me a video clip of a recent climb of Halfdome at Yosemite with his daughter that he’d produced with his I-Phone. While I was able to appreciate the gee-whiz factor of the video capture, what I really wanted was to have been along for the hike.
Technology is a tool, and every tool is sometimes useful. What I have real difficulty understanding is why so many people, particularly those under 25, walk around engaged primarily with that tool. Face time with people and engaged awareness of the physical world seem to be secondary considerations for these folks. It sometimes takes active and persistent intervention to reverse this priority; and that strikes me as unfortunate.
Wow, I’m way behind and admit that I have not read the other comments. That said-its not technology that’s at fault. Technology is a wonderful tool. It’s just like anything else in life, it has to do with how you use it. My kids have had pagers and cell phones since their teens. They still managed to have family dinner everynight (with no cell phone, tv) attend family events, be outside and do all of those other things.
And has someone who spent six years overseas while all extended family (with whom we were close) on another continent, I cannot express the value of the internet and cell phone techology.
I would also saiy that not all technology is on the same level. ie, I think that the internet and phones are pretty necesary and desireable for communication-I wouldnt put video games, tv or cable, or many other things in the same boat. Living on a pension, if I had to I could get rid of cable-even my land line. But my cell and internet, not a chance, lance!!
I’ve been thinking about this issue and those associated with it for a few years now and I just down know how it can be possible in the West. I’ve often thought about escaping to a 3rd world country where life revolves around the fundamentals of life and where real social interaction is critical to the survival of the villagers.
The other option is just to escape altogether and become a monk or a nun and live in a monastery. It’s not for me, but it would be fulfilling, I’m sure.
Macs–that’s frightening. I already think people who yell in a house (instead of just walking a few steps and talking) are lazy, so calling is the worst! I remember once working in an office where we were literally all within shouting distance of each other–or a very easy walk–and we kept wondering why we needed the inter office email. It was basically the same thing.
Stress Warrior You know, I think the thing is that, for most people, social skills really can be developed over time, and that’s done through spending time with other people. A few years ago, because of an activity I took up, I ended up on an online discussion group with the highest number of people with no social skills I’d ever seen. I even actually remember a thread about ‘how to have a conversation with other people!’ It was a kind of interesting hybrid between online discussions and social interaction and I even saw a couple of mildly autistic people doing quite well at social events. I think using technology as a means to help you socialize is a good cause–particularly for those who think they lack ’social skills.’–as for you meeting your partner online, I was thinking about that too and wondering if you’d mention it. I actually know a lot of people who meet online–at least in the US.
Laura ah, tech free dinners sound like a good plan. I have a family member here in France who actually has a cell phone blocker that she carries with her (she teaches late high school, early college aged people). I would not be surprised if she also used it at home with her teen.
ChristineI do know what you mean about finding yourself in different rooms, hooked up to different technology. That’s something I notice from time to time as well, but I do think that limiting technology time is a good way to combat that.
Ermine “With increased disposable income we have become more individualistic, and been able to afford to live less interdependently.” Yes, I was thinking along those lines as I asked myself those questions in the post. I think without electronics and technology–as long as we still have the disposable income–we will remain much more independent. And your comment about chasing work around and keeping a tenuous connection with others reminds me of a quote from Freud that I couldn’t find for the post (grrr). It was something along the lines of him thinking that the telegraph and telephone that allowed his children to call him were poor remedies for the train that took them away from him in the first place.
Maus Yes, actually hiking Half Dome would be much more exciting than seeing it on the I-phone. I for one can’t really fathom the use of an I-phone–just can’t see why it’s different than the i-pod plus a cell phone or why you ‘need/want’ one. Your point: “Face time with people and engaged awareness of the physical world seem to be secondary considerations. . .” I’m sure there’s something inherently unhealthy about living that way although it’s just a gut feeling . But in order to become like that your mind would have to be so completely occupied by technology that you would have no consciousness of your own thoughts practically– I wonder if it’s possible for that to actually alter the way you think.
BarbI feel the same way as you do about the internet and I think you make an interesting distinction between technology for communication and technology only for entertainment.
The first thing we did to decrease our expenses was cut down on the amount of cable we had. We now have about 13 channels and there’s as much good stuff to watch as there was when we had about 100 (meaning not much).
I told a patient of mine that I was thinking of possibly getting rid of cable all together and his statement was “You can’t do that, kids NEED TV (my daughter is 18 months)!” I couldn’t get him to understand that she didn’t need TV at all.