Struggles with ‘Stuff’: Is it just me . . .

Does anyone else out there buy stuff they don’t need?  I’m not going to lie, I’ve bought things I don’t need before. I’ll probably do it again!  Generally, when I fall into such a trap, I discover that I wasn’t thinking things through and was kind of ‘flying on autopilot.’

So where does the habitual buying pattern come from? I’ve argued in the past that consumerism is hard-wired into evolutionary biology, and that if we want to fight it, we have to consciously think about our habits. In my humble and non-expert opinion, we also have plenty of cultural pressures and constructs that make purchasing ‘more’ a habit.  And let’s face it: our habitual, default behavior is much easier to maintain than something unusual, different or culturally . . . weird.

I’ve definitely made progress toward avoiding the consumer trap–but it was hard! Here are some of the actions/habits that helped me change my ways.  If you’re thinking they look kind of extreme, you’re probably right.  It took rather extreme measures for me to break out of old habits.  Do any of the following look like something you’ve done . . . or would do?

• (Involuntarily) Living on a budget that was much smaller than what I was used to in 2003.
• Not buying anything new for a year back in 2004 . . . a habit that has stuck with me to an extent.
• Not watching commercial TV or reading magazines.
• Not ‘hanging out’ in areas where there is nothing to do but shop.
• Getting more rest (I don’t know why, but I’ve noticed that having more time to engage in exercise and my passions, keeps me from overspending).
• Track my spending.  I have a space in my end of the month budget for ’stuff.’  When I used to spend more on random things I didn’t really need, I found that adding it up at the end of the month . . .and the end of the year motivated me to change my habits.

What about you?

Have you ever struggled with buying more ’stuff’ than you need?  Are you simply someone who never bought into consumer culture?  What strategies do you recommend to someone wanting to cut down on their consumer habits?

Fighting clutter: can it be painless?

Recently, we discussed some great reasons not to de-clutter.  Indeed, paring down possessions isn’t for everyone, and some of us can wisely stay put on the Clutter Continuum. These folks have found happiness without changing–how efficient is that?  Some of us, however,  may still want to clear out a bit more clutter, but worry that the costs of doing so may be too high, the effort too great.

Which brings us to this week’s question on clutter:  How can you make a little more space for yourself without paying the price?

The costs of de-cluttering that SIF readers (you) pointed out last week:

1. You’re willing to fight the clutter . . . but not your partner, who may be a packrat! (Pickler)
2. You may need that stuff later, and your future income may not allow you to replace it. (Barb)
3. It’s a beautiful day out or you’re relaxing after work and you don’t want to spend your free time that way. (Funny about Money)
4. Clutter serves as a financial tool or anchor, preventing you from buying more stuff or moving into a huge and costly home. (Funny about Money)
5. The items invading your space are related to your interests, hobbies or professions (AMD)
6. You may enjoy being able to see the projects you’re working on (2 Cents)

Pretty sound and serious reasons, if you ask me. I’d hesitate to take on clutter too if I thought that it would damage my relationship with my husband, leave me ‘wanting’ later or prevent me from working on my projects in peace.   I don’t want to give up my happiness to de-clutter.  But I wonder . . .

Could you remove some of the clutter without it ‘costing’ you?

Can you think of any ways to keep the costs of de-cluttering down?  Here’s an example off the top of my head: My husband and I have very different degrees of tolerance for clutter.  But I’m the kind of person that likes to have it both ways: great relationship with my husband and a house I can walk through, chairs I can sit on etc. I know, I know, sounds revolutionary!

In the case of my husband, I suppose I could have made us both miserable by picking fights with him or getting grouchy about stuff laying around. Have you ever seen that before?  One partner who keeps on nagging and another who keeps on doing the exact same thing, out of resistance?  Yipes–shoot me now!

But what if I (nicely) let my husband know that, yes, it stresses me out when I come home and every chair has a shirt or pair of pants draped over it . . .but then I also take note of the places DH typically tends to put his stuff, empty his pockets, stack the receipts and just put ‘containers’ there to catch his things.  I might say, “Ah, I see you like to empty your pockets each day when you get home. Here is a nifty box where you can keep your loose change, receipts . . .and all those marbles you confiscate from your students. . .” Now we’re all happy–except DH’s students–he still has their marbles.

Really, you could have an entire post on just the topic of getting a spouse to go along with you on the clutter battle . . . but my point here is that you may not have to choose between space to breathe in your home and a good relationship, just like you may not have to choose between having a place to keep your projects ‘out’ and having a comfortable space in which to relax when you aren’t working.

Can you think of any ways to keep the costs of de-cluttering down?

Maybe you’ve had success on this in your own life or perhaps you’ve just had a brainstorm about a way you can avoid some of the potential costs of de-cluttering.   Feel free to address the ‘problems’ above or even come up with your own. Remember, happy and unstressed by clutter is what we’re going for here.  Not miserable in a bare room with no friends and a pissed off partner.

Clutter: some reasons you may not want to fight it!

Clutter-free . . .again?

You are ready to combat clutter.  You plan to attack on several fronts: hold a garage sale, donate to charity, sell things on e-bay.  In one week, in thirty days . . . at some point, you will be clutter-free.  Until then, you’re going to be really busy, elbow deep in dusty nick-nacks.  You know what I’m talking about?

Cozy or cluttered? MIL's living room in France.

You, may have been here before, after all–that moment where you say, “NO MORE,” and  clean everything out.  Before the cycle starts again.

Considering de-cluttering?  Hold it right there!

Seriously.  Put that box of items to donate down!  Have a seat on the sofa next to that pile of magazines for just a minute and think this through.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we all fall in different places along the clutter continuum, and our tolerance (need?) for clutter can change daily, seasonally and over decades.  I’ve seen people decide to change places on the clutter continuum for really good reasons.  I’ve seen others do so on a whim.

In fact, I’ve seen people put in hours of dusty, dirty work without even really being sure they want to change their ways.  That’s a lot of work to achieve something you vaguely feel you should do–or that you think someone else wants you to do. Chances are, you’ll just revert back to your old ways anyhow.   Before you lift a finger, ask yourself the following:

What are the upsides to staying cluttered?

What? you ask, upsides? You sink further into your sofa and pull a hideous old blanket over your lap (made by the aunt of an old flame a decade ago . . .)

If you are accumulating clutter, it has an upside for you, and that is worth considering.

Sometimes what you discover can surprise you.  Here’s a non-exhaustive list of reasons people stay cluttered:

• I get to keep all of this stuff that I feel attached to, that reminds me of people, places, times etc.
• It’s easier; it’s what I’m used to.
• I like my stuff.
• People gave this to me and will be offended if I get rid of it.
• If I keep my spare rooms full of stuff, no one can move in with me or come to visit. (This is a real reason someone gave me once–don’t laugh).
• I may use this stuff some day.  I don’t want all of this to go to waste.
• I know it looks messy to some, but I like being able to see–and easily grab–everything I own.
• ____________________________

Anything to add? Whatever your reasons are for the lifestyle you choose, knowing them will make it easier to decide if change is, in fact, in order.

Examining your reasons to stay cluttered, three possible conclusions:

• Maybe you’ll decide you’re being irrational and that you need to let go (of your stuff and your reasons for keeping it around).
• Perhaps  you’ve just realized that what you need is not to get rid of your stuff, but to find appropriate and convenient storage for it, so that you can find it and use it.  This outcome happens often in people who do crafts, hobbies or work out of the home.
• You may realize you’re just not ready to change–for rational reasons or not. If so, why not save yourself the work and frustration of cleaning up all that clutter, just so that it can pile up again in a few weeks or months? I’ve seen this happen so many times before that I hope you won’t ignore the possibility.

Are you considering a move on the clutter continuum?

Maybe you’re happy right where you are. . .if so, congratulations.  You can relax in your minimalist landscape– or curl up on your sofa under your cozy blanket and flip through your magazines in your full and happy home.

For those of you still considering a change, I invite you to drop by next week to discuss your reasons to de-clutter.

You and the clutter continuum.

Where do you fall in the clutter continuum?

In the blogosphere and in life, I’ve observed about five distinct clutter cultures (although sub cultures certainly abound).  Some have the need or desire to clear things out, while others may want to avoid decluttering.  I suspect we have a rather diverse community here at the Simple Life in France . . . but you never know until you ask!   Do you fall under any of these categories?

1.  strict minimalists:

you may live in tiny spaces (RV’s), paint your dwellings white and eschew window dressings.  You have clutter beat and are now working on more advanced projects.

2.  simplicity seekers:

You may have recently pared down your affairs, maybe due to a move or a sudden change of heart.  Less cluttered than most, you are still not satisfied and are still pruning away.

3.  recently awakened clutter fighters:

At some point in the not so distant past, you woke up and said, “Huh?  where the heck did all this stuff come from?”  You’re wondering why you even have some of these things.  In fact, you’re pretty sure you have stuff in your home that you have entirely forgotten about waiting to be discovered . . .as in an archeological dig.  You’re ready and determined to purge!  Eventually.  In the meantime, you still may find yourself struggling not to add more stuff to the mix.

4.  cozy clutter bugs:

You like your stuff.  It makes you happy to be able to see the things you own–your book collection, your  childhood toys. . .in fact, there’s more where that came from in storage someplace.   When you find you can’t put things away, you go out and buy some new shelves or closet organizers.  Your closets, in fact, resemble that old video game: tetris, where everything has to fit just so or the game is over!

5.  health hazard:

Some of my readers will think I’m kidding, but I’m not!  In high school, visiting a friend’s home, I realized that I could not distinguish from the ‘trash’ and the rest of the kitchen counter.  In my parent’s house, sitting on the sofa (near the laundry room) often means having a pile of my dad’s (clean–thankfully!) underwear cascade onto your head.  If this isn’t hazardous to your physical health, it can at least leave you emotionally scarred!

Alright–that’s enough of me being nosy for one day.  If you find the above describes you, fire away.  If I haven’t covered your category, feel free to add one. I’ll put my own response in the comment section–for full disclosure purposes.